Finding Fordham

The acceptance letter wasn’t met with the joy one would’ve hoped. Matthew had applied to three colleges and was accepted by two— Drexel University and Fordham University. Having been rejected by NYU on early acceptance, the choice to attend Fordham University’s Lincoln Center campus appeared to be a consolation prize — and it happened by accident.

Beginning with the end in mind

Matthew went on to become a Fulbright Scholar — one of only 178 Fulbright Scholars selected from the hundreds of thousands of students who have graduated from Fordham since its founding. Following one year studying in Germany as part of the Fulbright, and five years working in public education, Matthew was accepted to the Johns Hopkins School for Advanced International Studies, receiving a Masters of Arts degree. Along the way, he turned down acceptance letters from Columbia University, American University, George Washington University, Syracuse University and the University of Denver.

Yes, these are the words of a proud parent. Yes, these words are written with a sense of vindication. Yes, it all was made possible by Fordham University.

The haircut

My son’s hair is noticeably different than the rest of our family’s locks. Where our hair is long and straight, his is a head of very tight, thick curls. Having just received his letter from NYU, he was sitting in a barber’s chair sharing his grief at not being able to study in Manhattan. Mid-sentence, the barber cut him off and asked if he’d applied to Fordham.

What’s Fordham?

Brand name

In our community, with an emphasis my son’s high school, brand names matter. Providing a private education for the price of a public, his school produces far more than its fair share of top thirty university acceptances. Harvard, Yale, Penn, Princeton and Stanford each receive multiple graduates. Those who’ve been accepted let the entire community know. Fordham wasn’t—and isn’t—a blip on the radar.

A more perfect match couldn’t have been made.

The Jesuit University of New York

One need not be a believer of any kind to attend Fordham University. One need not know anything about the Society of Jesus—the Jesuits. A graduate can enjoy an entire academic career without professing a spiritual belief of any kind, and none will be forced, with the possible exception of the higher calling of service to one’s fellow man.

Paradoxically, every student will benefit from the considerable faith the Jesuit mission places in the value of education. And, while a student may not subscribe to the Jesuit mission, the Jesuit mission most certainly subscribes to the education of the student.

Father McShane

The most important thing to understand about Fordham’s Jesuit leader is that, when he is with you, he is actually with you. Like all CEOs, he gets pulled in many directions and the demands on his time are fierce. Somehow, though, he demonstrates a formidable ability to concentrate and connect, in the moment.

At a university event, four years after my son’s graduation, I had the good fortune to get one minute of face time to thank him for delivering on the single promise he made to me and hundreds of other parents on Matthew’s first day. During that minute, he was with me completely. He didn’t look around. He didn’t fidget. He listened with gratitude about gratitude. I could offer him nothing. He delivered everything.

Schedule a tour of Fordham University

The lobby of Lincoln Center

This essay was prompted by a recent campus visit after two or three years away. My son was in town for business and he invited me to share lunch in the courtyard. Following the meal, we wandered into the lobby to discover a banner that listed the awards and accolades earned by many of Fordham’s graduates—Academy Awards, Pulitzer Prizes, Rhode Scholarships, Ambassadorships, Grammy Awards, international elected offices, inventors, university presidents, cabinet members, military leaders, Fulbright scholars and many more.

All told, about three hundred graduates were represented on the banner. My son is one of the three hundred. Yours might follow.

Day one: Father McShane’s singular promise

Sitting in the Lincoln Center auditorium with hundreds of parents and freshman, Father McShane grabbed our attention and, after a brief stint behind the lectern, hopped off stage to immerse himself in the body electric. Shortly thereafter, thunder stuck.

He quickly held each student accountable for their own future, making clear that the demands of the institution would be significant. With the understanding that attendance required great financial sacrifice, Father McShane promised one thing, to the exclusion of all else. He promised that, if the student applied their talent and energy, the student would move to the next phase of their life with the ability to think analytically.

Expanding, he promised that, if the student invested as much in training their minds as Fordham was asking their family to investing financially, the student would leave able to understand a problem, analyze with rigor and devise a solution. He made no promise of awards or accolades. And, while he spent little time, if any, with individual students or parents that day, he made an unambiguous promise to each of us, as if he’d just spent an hour with every individual in the room.

Following May

Matthew has always been quite bright. As a young person, academics offered some challenge but were, for the most part, a tertiary. Flying high with little effort, his being was more social, emotional and abstract.

We spoke weekly during the freshman Fall semester, with freedom and independence being increasingly asserted as the quarter came to a close. Christmas break was spent re-establishing friendships, working and sleeping. Few conversations of substance took place. The Spring semester was noticeably different. He spent more and more time engaged in academics and wandering the island. An evolution was taking place.

Discourse

Shortly after arriving home, Matthew and I had a private conversation requiring dispassionate analysis followed by a practical resolution. The topic was common in every sense, but the change in his perspective was appreciably and permanently different. The boy had become a thoughtful, compassionate, analytical, grounded, rigorous man.

Fordham University had delivered on Father McShane’s promise.