Interracial

I married an African American woman. While dating, I was welcomed into her family and introduced to Black culture. And, for the politically correct in the audience, be assured that there is a Black culture that is embraced and defended by the, well, Black culture. Pursuant to full disclosure, I am white — bright white. My wife refers to my “tribe” — her words — as being comprised of “ish” people: Irish, English, Scottish, Swedish, Danish, etc. Further, I was not raised around many African Americans.

The learning curve wasn’t so much steep as it was broad. It was like having played baseball on a traditional field all my life and realizing that the field of all cultures is played with four pitchers and twelve outfields in a 360 degree circle. That said, once you know the rules of the game, and can read the third base coach’s signs, sheer bliss is always nearby.

My family and potato salad

If a friend of African descent invites you to a picnic, or a family gathering, and you want to have a little fun, remark about how the homemade potato salad tastes as good as the stuff you bought at the supermarket. I should have prefaced this suggestion by recommending that you dress like a baseball catcher, with a chest protector, shin guards, face mask and a protective cup, because stuff will go sideways quickly.

Heads explode. Old women will throw whatever is close at hand — a ketchup bottle, soda cans, whole baked chickens. An eighty-six year old woman once grabbed a hot dog off a red-hot grill and whipped it at me. Grown men will shush you, trying to protect you from their relatives. You’d think you’d just mashed a sweet potato pie in their grandmother’s face.

Good times. Pun intended.

My family and The Beastie Boys

A second suggestion, if you aren’t up to demands of the potato salad shitstorm, is to offer a lesson in the history of Hip-Hop. In particular, stand firm on the observation that The Beastie Boys were the first true rap act. This observation doesn’t involve anyone’s mother or grandmother, so the reaction is different. Someone might actually throw a paper plate full of potato salad at you, but they’ll probably just tell you you’re an idiot and walk away.

It’s fun, but make sure the group loves you and trusts you first. Besides, I’m an idiot.

Sponsors and the Twelve Steps

Alcoholics Anonymous recommends the use of a sponsor as a newcomer is introduced to the Twelve Steps. A sponsor acts like a guide through rough mountain terrain, offering directions, guidance, support and, where necessary, criticism. That said, there’s no perfect sponsor and their opinions vary widely. Some are hard core and unyielding. Others are analytical. Others are touchy-feely. It’s the hard core sponsors that are problematic and that, most often, provide the best rationalization for a newcomer to start drinking again.

Power corrupts. Heads explode. Fingers fly. Potato salad all over again.

The night a Buddhist monk called me to disagree

I started drawing Dharma Wheels in 2013 (see silkdharma.com). Within twelve months, I had created over 600. Yes, 600. What some people think is compulsive, I think is focused. What others think is manic, I think of as energetic.

Some were even good.

So, in 2014, I committed to posting one Dharma Wheel on Facebook each day for the entire year. Wanting the world to know, I reached out to people across the globe via email to let them know about the project — monks, yoga instructors, practitioners, media people, etc.

One night, my phone rang and a monk in Detroit called to tell me that the Dharma Wheels were drawn incorrectly — that they should have twelve spokes, not eight. Now, while I may not listen to priests, I definitely listen to Buddhist monks. That said, throughout life, after I listen, I often respond. This case was no exception. Ask my sponsor.

I remarked about my research of the correlation between the Eightfold Path and the eight spokes of the Dharma Wheel. The monk wouldn’t accept my posit, as if I was questioning his potato salad recipe. Having made no progress, and after having listened respectfully, we hung up when he was finished.

Fully believing he knew more than me, I was confused.

I’m a simple dude

On January 1, 2014, I began to post my artwork daily and it was met with incredible approval, including from Buddhists of all backgrounds — and the approval was gratifying. Detroit’s finest never left my mind, not because I felt vindicated but because I felt true respect. He was the person who took the time to call and teach, and the lesson was hard. He’d gotten his metaphysical crowbar underneath my manhole cover because, for whatever reason, he cared, and because he wouldn’t compromise his viewpoint.

Over the course of writing my Zen Spot essays (https://silkdharma.com/blogs/news ), my mission, motivation and inspiration have evolved. In particular, the process has introduced me to my own soul dirt. In comparison to what I read in other Buddhist blogs or what I witness when around other practitioners, my lack of commitment to a pure path can appear to border on filthy defiance. I’m not clean, small, quiet, flowery or calm. I get angry. Compassion comes hard. I loathe dogma.

Despite all these things, I know, in my heart, I’m moving in the right direction— and I believe there are a million other people just like me, all trying to get to the light. This essay is for those people.

I believe in the Four Noble Truths. I practice the Noble Eightfold Path. I walk the Middle Way.

That’s it.

Need words? Make contact.

Portfolio and list of services

Newsletter: Sugary candy for the soul

I don’t teach, preach or sell hard. I do send out silly ten second stories about people, places and things.

November 2022
- Nov 24, 2022 The scroll of Kerouac's soul Nov 24, 2022
October 2022
- Oct 3, 2022 A brother helping me remain in light Oct 3, 2022
September 2022
- Sep 1, 2022 Ten things to never say to a new car salesperson Sep 1, 2022
August 2022
- Aug 1, 2022 The question of an evolving identity made whole by street artists and vandals Aug 1, 2022
July 2022
- Jul 4, 2022 The warmth of knowing my baseball glove is in the sweater drawer Jul 4, 2022
June 2022
- Jun 2, 2022 Sonny Rollins standing on the bridge in Giverny Jun 2, 2022
May 2022
- May 1, 2022 Sitting in front of forever May 1, 2022
April 2022
- Apr 2, 2022 A temple, a church, a synagogue or an artist’s studio? Apr 2, 2022
March 2022
- Mar 2, 2022 Foghorn Leghorn inside the flower garden of the mind Mar 2, 2022
February 2022
- Feb 6, 2022 My first cup of Tibetan butter tea Feb 6, 2022
January 2022
- Jan 4, 2022 Dancing is better with a corn dog in each hand Jan 4, 2022
December 2021
- Dec 1, 2021 Even Edgar Degas made mistakes Dec 1, 2021
November 2021
- Nov 2, 2021 Running shoes, rhetoric, hyperbole and the dog with the human head Nov 2, 2021
October 2021
- Oct 2, 2021 Still life painting at 36 Via Fondazza Oct 2, 2021
September 2021
- Sep 19, 2021 True creative genius Sep 19, 2021
August 2021
- Aug 17, 2021 "Sometimes you need to just lay on the sidewalk and bleed for a little bit" Aug 17, 2021
July 2021
- Jul 12, 2021 Dozens of worn-out couches in a true art house Jul 12, 2021
June 2021
- Jun 14, 2021 Daft Punk Frida Jun 14, 2021
May 2021
- May 17, 2021 Eating cake in a cemetery May 17, 2021
April 2021
- Apr 8, 2021 Mindfulness, meditation, a drum circle and the yellow doves of Mount Airy Apr 8, 2021
March 2021
- Mar 9, 2021 That diner in Brighton Mar 9, 2021
February 2021
- Feb 17, 2021 Tibet via North Philadelphia Feb 17, 2021
January 2021
- Jan 11, 2021 Bukowski is family Jan 11, 2021
December 2020
- Dec 23, 2020 Mindfulness, meditation, parking meters, poems, love notes and library books Dec 23, 2020
November 2020
- Nov 16, 2020 Six tongues and the sugar face Nov 16, 2020
October 2020
- Oct 20, 2020 Tequila, cops and grace Oct 20, 2020
September 2020
- Sep 25, 2020 Feeling the machinery Sep 25, 2020
August 2020
- Aug 17, 2020 The futile fury of a final letter Aug 17, 2020
July 2020
- Jul 4, 2020 It all begins with the word Jul 4, 2020
June 2020
- Jun 19, 2020 Hate in the abstract. Love in the specific. Jun 19, 2020
May 2020
- May 19, 2020 Dirty hands drawing a circle May 19, 2020
April 2020
- Apr 19, 2020 A singularity built from many pieces Apr 19, 2020
- Apr 14, 2020 Resurgent feelings and the Bowery's Blitzkrieg Bopper Apr 14, 2020
- Apr 5, 2020 Channeling my inner Iggy for the third time Apr 5, 2020
March 2020
- Mar 24, 2020 A golden eagle's echo will carry forever Mar 24, 2020
February 2020
- Feb 21, 2020 Seven crappy poems Feb 21, 2020
- Feb 11, 2020 Words from the white space Feb 11, 2020
- Feb 5, 2020 Bursting between the beasts Feb 5, 2020
January 2020
- Jan 30, 2020 Mindfulness, meditation and the Yah-Yah contraption figure Jan 30, 2020
- Jan 22, 2020 The Beastie Boys, potato salad, the number 12 and a phone call from a Buddhist monk Jan 22, 2020
- Jan 16, 2020 Mindfulness, meditation, nevermindishness and nothingness Jan 16, 2020
- Jan 8, 2020 Glibquip Jan 8, 2020
- Jan 6, 2020 DeSoi versus Hemingway Jan 6, 2020
- Jan 5, 2020 Hating happy cats Jan 5, 2020
December 2019
- Dec 31, 2019 Baked beans and ice cream Dec 31, 2019
- Dec 27, 2019 Zen and the little blue box Dec 27, 2019
- Dec 20, 2019 About the power of symbols Dec 20, 2019
- Dec 13, 2019 Obscure references lend credibility, especially when you make them up Dec 13, 2019
- Dec 9, 2019 Three fingers tickling the air Dec 9, 2019
- Dec 5, 2019 Sunday dinner at the DiGiulios Dec 5, 2019
November 2019
- Nov 26, 2019 One man's silly secret to writing an online dating profile Nov 26, 2019
- Nov 20, 2019 Burning man at Burning Man Nov 20, 2019
- Nov 18, 2019 A didgeridoo full of goo Nov 18, 2019
- Nov 16, 2019 Two thousand words from the future Nov 16, 2019
- Nov 14, 2019 Every scar is cool Nov 14, 2019
- Nov 12, 2019 Daily affirmations and anonymous encouragement taped to the back of a stop sign Nov 12, 2019
- Nov 10, 2019 Willem de Kooning’s women have jacked-up teeth Nov 10, 2019
- Nov 8, 2019 Flames, bikers, bras, jaws, Jack, Lemmy and liquor Nov 8, 2019
- Nov 6, 2019 I met a German vegetarian in an Italian butcher shop Nov 6, 2019
- Nov 4, 2019 Art + money + object = fetish Nov 4, 2019
- Nov 2, 2019 Ferried on the fingertip wings of an angel Nov 2, 2019
October 2019
- Oct 31, 2019 Cyclops @ night Oct 31, 2019
- Oct 29, 2019 Nietzsche was wrong about almost everything Oct 29, 2019
- Oct 27, 2019 A singular reason to hate social media Oct 27, 2019
- Oct 25, 2019 Mindfulness, meditation, chance and The Village Vanguard Oct 25, 2019
- Oct 23, 2019 Umbilical Oct 23, 2019
- Oct 21, 2019 The curve of a single elegant line Oct 21, 2019
- Oct 19, 2019 Five Boro Flamingo Oct 19, 2019
- Oct 17, 2019 Mistress and wife to the same musician Oct 17, 2019
- Oct 15, 2019 A python named Tom and a Toyota test drive Oct 15, 2019
- Oct 13, 2019 Sweetie pie and the sugary fire Oct 13, 2019
- Oct 9, 2019 A great artist doesn't need to leave a single great artwork in his wake Oct 9, 2019
- Oct 7, 2019 Eleven effective ways to control the tempo of negotiations with a car salesperson Oct 7, 2019
September 2019
- Sep 28, 2019 What to expect from the dealer trade vehicle evaluation Sep 28, 2019
- Sep 24, 2019 Three stories being told at once Sep 24, 2019
August 2019
- Aug 24, 2019 Thirty years away from the Blues Aug 24, 2019
July 2019
- Jul 22, 2019 Ten hours in Madrid Jul 22, 2019
- Jul 11, 2019 When life slows down to let you take a look Jul 11, 2019
- Jul 6, 2019 The Buddhist Manager Jul 6, 2019
- Jul 2, 2019 The perfect, hopeful, subversive headbanger Jul 2, 2019
June 2019
- Jun 27, 2019 Scribbleheads Jun 27, 2019
- Jun 24, 2019 Myth of the Knotdog Jun 24, 2019
- Jun 19, 2019 Dream of the Zen Blue Hat Jun 19, 2019
- Jun 16, 2019 Sleeping dogs and the power of forgiveness Jun 16, 2019
- Jun 12, 2019 Skate Hog Jun 12, 2019
- Jun 9, 2019 I type with two middle fingers Jun 9, 2019
- Jun 5, 2019 Hillbillies love Salvador Dali Jun 5, 2019
- Jun 1, 2019 The single most important thing a prospective Fordham University parent needs to know Jun 1, 2019
May 2019
- May 31, 2019 The accidental copywriter May 31, 2019
- May 28, 2019 Five 70s albums every Millennial should listen to this weekend May 28, 2019
- May 15, 2019 Five secrets to writing a moving love letter May 15, 2019